Life right now....

Hi there, i just came to say; i really love my life. i could stand on the rooftop and shout this out loud but you know what...people are so miserable so you cant really share much with them because they will always try to dim your light and happiness. needless to say, i love my life. I feel blessed and everyday I get amazed at how far God has brought me. I truly am grateful 🙏🏽 im 42, single as ever, no sneaky link, no talking stage but just me myself and I. I do what I like when I like, should I repeat that?? lol okay I wont...but ya you get my point. God is amazing for single childless women, he loves us too ❤️ I am not forgotten. Here's a small nugget; never share your happiness with people that do not share the same values, aspirations and lifestyle with. Be intentional with those you bring to your circle, they do not need to know every little detail about you. You will get disappointed by people but that is life, people are not perfect, I certainly am not but I intentionally try to be good to those around me and when the evil overwhelms me I step away because we should not be led by the bad in our lives ...but the good. So try to do good, domt leave the toilet after finishing the toilet paper, think of those coming after you. Simply roll down or pull down the toilet roll for the next person to find it there instead of poking around for it. See how simple doing good is right?? so simple, try it. Good attracts good. enough blabbler, its friday night. i have laundry to do but I managed to get my hair washed (its a sew-in) my scalp os grateful. Keep well lovers ❤️

Over 40....2024

Hello my darling, can't believe im an over 40(not complaining, just in disbelief) I'm young yet old, if that makes any sense. year 2024 started out quite interestingly. i somehow linked up with an ex from 17 years ago, 17 years ago!!! that is my undergrad days! unbelievable right? yes, he was my first love, we were supposed to get married and stuff. well it turns out, we both haven't been lucky in love ( hahaha...what a funny) no kids and the cheesiest part is; he tried to lure me into thinking that we were linking up again for a good reason ( meant to be together and have our first kids together bs) 🙄 ..... I fell for it!! Well almost!! thank God I didn't. there's nothing there, the boy just lies just like the rest of them. Enough of the soapy stuff, men aint shit! sorry to the good ones, but that's my current feeling. so let me tell you about the shadies that are my age that have asked me out this year, or lie about liking me; The questions they ask: 1. Do you live in an estate/house/apartmemt/ flat? 2. Did you buy your house? 3. how do you manage the "urge" (read sexual edge) since you've been single for so long? 4. Are you seeing anyone? 5. Do you cook? or can you cook? 6. Will the child have enough space to run around your flat if we were to have a kid? it's hilarious out here, of all the things a person could ask to get to know me, this is what they choose to ask??!!! the world is ending soon for black men, Mark my words. This brings me to this analogy I've made overtime. Black women are raised to be welcoming to life advancements etc. for example, when parents decide to take their children to a multiracial school, they hope for their child to be exposed to better and want the best for their lives. The women welcome this advancement however the men somewhat lag behind. so when these ladies try to date their supposed equals, they discover that they in fact aren't equal because the men have chosen to remain wirh Stone age ideologies of how a relationship should be where the ladies have welcomed tje advancements that habe come with the modern society. for example, black modern girls enjoy a variety of couples activities that a traditional man wouldn't such as planned dates, stay cations, vacations, activities. a traditional man, however, wants to drink his beer, enjoy his time with his boys then come home to see his girlfriend for that shortwhile before dozing off to sleep. boredom!!! so the modern black finds herself leaning towards other races as they somewhat understand tje dating levels that a black modern girl has been socialized to. I wish our brothers would break away from the stubbornness of upkeeping social norms and just love freely. experience a life of love and fun activities i noticed how most were writing long paragraphs about why they do not celebrate valenties how miserable must you be for you to actually tell the whole world that grand love gestures matter not to you?! why us it that when love is discussed you quickly want to be defensive and tell us how you love your partner without anyone seeing it.?? isn't that borderline weird and shady? anyway, big ups to those who made their lovers days special. love is the greatest gift of all and the black community could do with a lot of that love it is sad that in 2024, we still meet grown ass men who still cannot ask a lady out appropriately without sounding like marketing scam. it all sounds is as if they want our assets, asking nonsense about what we bring to the table. if anyone asks that, you have every right to block them and move the hell on. a modern black women is mature enough to know how to support their partner but dare not ask silly questions that will leave you looking like a male version of a gold digger. if yiu fine a lady is holding down her career, raking care of herself and taking full responsibility of herself of her wellbeing, dare not ask her silly questions or wonder about where her next break will come from. she's been living waaay before you and she'll continue to live even after you. you are not the prize!! modern black women are liberated, they feed themselves, wine and dine themselves, take themselves to their dream vacation destinations, bully and rive their dream cars, live in their dream addresses, dress in the garments of their dreams! they do this all through discipline, hard work and motivation to want better and being open minded....which moat our black brothers could do with. I am not sure where they lose the plot but the guys that recive the same education and upbringing seem to hardly ever align with their modern black ladies. those who do, are often married off quite early and the ones left behind are the confused lot (sorry bit they do act all confused) Enough about boys, life is good. Cant believe i didnt revsive a single Valentines chocolate yet i had some few gents claiming to like me. sad. I blocked 2 from my WhatsApp as a result, I can't keep boring, directionless characters around. my skin is still popping, I dyed my hair black to hide the damn Grey's that were getting out of hand ( I am way too young for such stress). I have a healthy brain, I am grateful 🙏🏽 one thing i am looking forwad to is getting myself a convertible/cabriolet vehicle. the age allows it. it will be red and I cannot wait to cruise in it!! joy with gratitude, i bow my single self out 💕 Love yourself, protect your aura, invest in your health and savour the good life God has given us Did i mentioned, I'm glowing ? Hell, i am and my thighs are firm as ever! that's all that matters 😅

Still holding on....

Good evening, its been a minute! Well, im alive and well but lately overwhelmed with feelings of how vanilla my life is. i feel like I'm a spectator of people's lives, just always having to pick up my jaw from the floor, because wow! people are wild out there. Firstly, let me rectract the so called crush i thought i had on that yellow bone cutie on the TL. nope, it was just a silly crush, boy am i glad nothing caught on. Secondly, i have decided to basically date them all (and sleep with none of them, i know how y'all can't differentiate these things). if you find yourself talking to more than one guy at once rather talk to them all. they are not consistent and somehow the serious one will then remain if they are serious all the flacky bs will vanish. anyway, i still have no lover 😥. work is hectic but still manageable. I've been exercising quite consistently since the start of August. my body is firm, that's all...no weightloss *sigh* anyway, i have no ailments so im grateful. i thought getting off patch would shed off some weight brought on by it. eish, being a black women can be so hard. year 40 is going on and almost over yet I'm wasting away (read:lack of coitus) what kind of life is this?? something has to change 🤔 i joined that boardroom dating apps and my agemates are nowhere to be found!! i matched with one, we haven't met as yet. he's from Gqebehra and you know what they say about guys from there, so ill be cautious. i once had a date with one of the boys from and he asked that we split a very menial bill😳. i was shocked! i wanted to settle it in full to spite him but i then decided against it. in fact, I'll tell this one why im sceptical just as a warning so he won't try that nonsense with me. the December shutdown is upon us and i need a beach holiday. ⛱️ its been a year and a half, sexless and all. im literally a walking hormone, thank goodness im a lady and have the ability to practice restraint. I'd sleeping with anything if i were a guy🤣 those ones lack restraint. anything goes with them. i haven't decided what will be on this year's Christmas lunch menu, i had hoped to spend it at a different household like my in laws or something like that *sigh*. i also haven't decided what hairstyle to do for December, ey man, December is an event for us South Africans 😂 the outfits are planned in advance, a budget is set aside etc. its a lot that goes on. the planning will start soon. With all that said, i remain grateful for my vanilla life as i continue to look for ways to make it more colourful. i need colour, i must have colour lest i die! 🥺 now wouldn't that be a shame! 1 need to start saving for my vacation in Mauritius 🇲🇺 where I'll be shaking my booty, in a thong, in a yatch! hahaha Let's see what this weekend holds, i need serious rest but also an outing of sorts. staying indoors and within my comfort zones will get me no colour! Adios 💖

2023 first half review

It's become common that i update my blog on Fridays, i wonder why. Today marks end of the first half of 2023, whoa! time sure does fly. Let's rate the status of this 40 year old spinster: Contentment level:8 out of 10 (overall) Relationships: 0 (thumbs down) Failed talking stage: 1 Crushes: 1 ( there's a handsome guy on my TL that loves everything guns, Lord if he were to DM i wouldn't be able to stop myself) Kisses: 0 (crying face). Dates: 1 lousy coffee date from that failed talking stage , which therefore doesn't even count as a date. hell Vacation: 1 Work: is good, still growing and being given a seat at thee tables. Bless the Loed foe that. The one things that's truly non issue right now. Fitness: rather low (winter is my excuse) still sexy though Hoes: eish, I'd say i have a third od a hoe. this hoe is damn inconsistent i can count thw pokes in one hand at my damn age. so nonexistent, basically. Now going into the second and last hald of the year, i need another holiday and definitely kisses. Lord i am now praying for thw kisses, how a lady can go through a drought of kisses is beyond but hey, im in no business of kissing frogs but hell if all there is is frogs then what is a lady supposed to do. i need better motivation for my fitness, do the bike at least twice a week. the laziness must fall! *candles to more kisses, passionate kisses, kisses without pokes. i need a new hoe. One funny thing i have observed though is thag i am in no way desperate, i want what i want and i will get what i want. So people make the mistake of thinking that i can or need to take anything with a willy that comes my way. oh hell never. the last talking stage was rather old and boring. He had zero game and all he did was to shower me with WhatsApp texts of how much he still loves, hell! Is love not an action? Last i checked it was. You can proclaim your love all you want but, if there is no action accompanying that then you may as well stop with that silly mission. Let me enjoy my Friday, i just ran out of vodka 🙃 which was the drink of choice for tonight (i was purposely avoiding the red wine, knowing the horniness it comes with). I am alive, well, noutished, healthy and still loving myself. Kisses

40 and fabulously......?

The year is 2023 and it looks like i skipped an entire year of not posting a single blog post. 2022 was rather vanilla yet masked wigh a few tragedies. i lost my dearest grandmother and my brother. i guess that explains the space i was in. My love life was flat and actually nonexistent(facepalm) Fast forward to 2023, i turned 40 and look gorgeous as ever(if i say so myself). i have put on some weight though, can you blame me, I'm literally stress free (in the heart matters that is, because i believe that is what tends to affects ones health). i am healthy, i have checked my vitals althou all clear, but i was shocked to learn of my raised blood pressure which i am now closely monitoring. A shock, i tell you. my skin is banging though, my thighs and butt firm (no jelly moves hahaha) a blessing. I love myself nonetheless. Being 40 has been great so far, I exude more confidence. I am appreciative of those who look up to me as a guide, those who value my opinion and input, be it work or social related. It is truly heartwarming. I am sure you are wondering what is happening with my love life (sigh) well it is nonexistent (cries). The pokes don't come by easily, kisses are a rare phenomenon! how on earth did i get here, you ask? Well, its not like there are no gents, there are but those who dare approach are just wack or too young (cries again) I don't even think I've had a kiss all year and we are halfway though, my 40th has not been as colourful as I thoughht. It may still change, i am crossing fingers. One thing that has changed drastically is my going out, i no longer go out as i used to, well who would in this current economy. on Fridays i always feel exhausted from the week's activities, which are mostly work and a bit of exercise, i end up heading straight home to my couch and a glass of my favorite wine or homemade cosmos. I basically lead a routine which I have comfortably settled into. I still read twitter, a lot. it keeps the lonely at bay I suppose. interacting with all those strangers who some have become my daily interacts. I appreciate every single one of those who care to engage, they dont know how much that does for a single lady after a long day at the office l, bless them. Now what is to be done with this colourless life of mine? I think of Bridget Jones a lot who, after years of struggling with finding love, she lets her hair down at some rave camp weekend only to find herself in the arms of her true love. love is worth the wait, I believe, mine is also coming and when it does; it will be dreamy (daydreams). For now, I am here 40, single, glowing, content, curvy hopeful and absolutely fucking fabulous. I am so grateful for not being one of those who are driven by desperation. it is truly amazing. i commend myself. some have had the audacity to ask me why I dont just have a kid (darkies, sigh) imagine! so basically they are suggesting that I hook up with a stranger and find myself pregnant. horrific! we do not want the same things in the same fashion and that is okay. I just smile at such questions, honestly. My only one fear with meeting a person now at my big age is that I may just meet someone much older and the pokes may not be able to meet/match the hunger i possess. that is honestly my worst fear (God forbid). My sister tried to hook me up with a much older guy who was looking for a wife, my fear creeped in and I just couldn't. Men have ailments and I honestly want to be given a break to enjoy my man before I look after his diabetes and gout (cry face). That is a fair ask, surely. Here's to a blissfull 2023 and a fabulous life of a 40 year old spinster (am I a spinster yet?) I don't have cats though, so maybe not so much of one me thinks. Let me finish my vodka and cranberry before I head to bed. i promise to come back soon ...💕

High morals, High Discipline

Being a single modern black lady continues but I'd like to share a bit about suppressed and forbidden feelings. The hard part of single life that no one prepares you for. My morals are sky high and i do not compromise when it comes to that, hard as it may be. Being hit on by married men is uncomfortable and disheartening until there is just that one that you click with on all levels. Emotionally socially, physically and mentally. Married men hot on me a lot more than single guys do(a sad stateof affairs) but I always stand my moral high ground. My motto is: if I were married, would I like it if my husband did that behind my back and everything stops ✋. I tell myself, one day I will be married and I want good karma only and so i sow a seed of goodness i.e. resist advances from married men at all cost. Now as much as i am this highly morale lady, this one guy i mentioned earlier almost made me lose my cool. The communication was on point, meaning we got each other. There was no need of explaining texts because both of us would get it. The humouor, the banter, the wit all flowed. Our conversations always left me with a smile and a warm fuzzy feeling. We didnt live far from each other but we seldom ever saw each other physically. For me this was deliberate because the guy has a family which i wouldn't want to bump into in awkwardness and honestly our interaction was only just chats (texts). We would joke around about meeting up for a drink or whatever but it never actually materialized but our texts continued. A day wouldn't go by without our texts which would go on until we both send goodnight texts. The texts were not overwhelming but rather a pleasant daily dose of smiles. Man, I could feel myself falling but I knew there was nothing of material that would come of it. At some point i honestly thought i was in love or we were both in love via texts, odd right ? or rather silly either way it felt good. I grew fond of the guy, he adores his family. Never uttered a bad word about them, a great dad, a hardworking and loving husband who still maintained date nights with the Mrs. Those date nights are precisely what made me realise that I may have developed a tad too much feelings for an unavailable guy than what I was supposed to. Was i even supposed to develop any feelings to even begin with ? Rough!. Anyway, I knew the constant communication had to stop at some point. Mr, lets call him Mr O, confessed his feelings at some point but that was not enough because it was a mere declaration rather than a plan. I didestablish though that we were equally attracted to each other in an insane way. It was weird, I fell in love with an ideal husband that had no intention of taking a second wife nor leave his beautiful family. That experience right there taught me a valuable lesson: a man can have feelings or love more than one person at once not because there is something amiss in another relationship. The feelings he has for you are just directed to you without taking away from the other party's feelings. This however does not necessasitate a need for relationship. You can acknowledge his feelings for you and allow him to love you from a distance. Not all feelings need to be acted upon especially when there are kids involved. Mr O and I had a heated moment where we made out but nothing further happened as we both stopped ourselves. It was from that day on that we cut down on the texting because we realised what could potentially happen was wrong at all levels. I love him, he's a great guy, well mannered gentleman, ambitious, witty and altogether love. The kiss and hug we shared will forever remain special to me. Life is about choices and I could have chosen to pursue the feelings and take things further with Mr O, but at what cost? Love is love when you are able to letprople you love go, and that is what I chose to do and i continue with life carrying a clear conscience because i chose morals over feelings. Love will come for me and it will be for and not us to share. My journey to finding true love continues, it is out there. Goodnight 😊

Somebody to Love

it's the eve of 2021 winter season and guesa what Miss? Miss Noks is as single as single can be. Bleh. Life is genuinely good, I'm in great shape (well according to my standards), work is progressing well although could be better. The family is well, thankfully to God. My nieces and nephews are growing, I am indeed truly blessed. I often feel petty when I start going off about my single status but I console myself with the knowledge that majority of people in relationships have compromised A LOT of their general standards! (i am not a hater,). Anyway, moments of loneliness and longing for true love hit me from time to time but I'm not desperate enough to sell myself short. Men are there, oh there's plenty of them. In May aone I've been to 3 dates, yeah. One guy we clicked so much that we went on a second date the very same weekend as the first one, cute right? We even held hands, it was the sweetest. Don't ask me what's happened because the communication is there but not entirely satisfactory. i feel like im being kept in a corner close enough for reach but far enough to not be a bother. So my hands are tied, i thought i was finally getting myself a boyfriend!! My theme has been: Get lost in the sauce Noks. Well the sauce ain't coming and I'm getting a little worn down. I do worry at times about not having the best sex of my life in my 30s, i have 2 years left of it and i have to make the best of it but somehow the universe refuses! well, it's Monday evening I am on my phone with a red candle burning by my bedside (nothing symbolic, there is no electricity in my neighborhood we are going through what they call Loadshedding) the power should be back soon. So during the time in this semi-darkness i have watched this beautifully written series Fleabag on Prime Video and listened to a soapy love song by the Bala Brothers- Somebody to Love (hence the title of this post). I think i will be casting the message out there for people to help me find somebody to love. I have so much love in my heart but it cannot be just anybody. I love myself

Beware of People who use you as their escape

Men and women come into each other's lives for many different reasons. There are those that come into your life with genuine intentions such as friendship, companionship, partnership, family etc. This post will focus on those species that come into your life pretending to be something else only to use you to fulfil their selfish wants. Ypu know that one person that you chat to almost daily but months go by without ever actually making time for each other? Yes, that particular person. I have personally come across this behaviour from particularly married men and I would like to warn my dear single ladies or single gents to look out for such characters. I know gents also have that one girl that always chats to them, pours out their life and troubles but nothing ever really materializes. Here's the deal, the people that do this may be consciously or subconsciously doing this. Some may genuinely enjoy your company ( which is often the case) but then you'll ask: what's wrong with that then? Well, this becomes wrong when you realise the following: 1. These people will speak to you at their own terms e.g. they are always the ones starting the conversation and expect you to respond with the same energy as theirs BUT should you initiate a conversationat at a time that is convenient to you, you will be met with an unanswered text for over an hour or day or so. 2. The conversation will almost always be one sided where you listen to how hectic their work is, what they want to do, their future plans, current plans (which by the way do not include you). All you can do about this is smile and be supportive. 3. They are hardly ever available for physical engagements, but they can chat to you all day without fail just dare not want anything more. 4. They will update you about all their goings on in their life, you will start to feel like you are part of their lives whereas you are not. its all a facade. They are not available, they are merely using you as their escape. Yes! this brings me to my point, an escape, that is what you become or are. An escape from their daily boring conversation with their spouse, an escape from their stressful day or life, an escape from their busy schedule that is packed with all the activities you may even be wishing for (date nights, fetching kids from school, birthday parties etc.), you become their virtual shoulder to cry on, their confidant because somehow they actually trust you with their secrets. You have created a very safe environment that makes you their first go-to person. They may throw in a charm here and there in your direction and you'll feel special. You must know that it is not real because nothing ever comes of it or nothing ever will. They will not share the nitty grittys of their relationship that they are so committed to yet feel a need to "escape" from once in a while using you dearest. There is a danger in becoming comfortable with such situations because nothing ever comes of it and nothing ever will. No one will leave their cushy life with a few bumps here and there and come join forces with your single self. Know when you are being used as an escape, Avoid being an escape toy or dustbin where married people with full lives (not to say that your single life is empty) come to dump all their troubles into. Do not become emotionally attached to such people because they are bound to leave you hurt and empty. Some are genuinely great people but great people do not use others for their personal gain. A virtual lover will not bear any fruit, remember that. The journey of a single lady continues, the lessons continue to come. Be vigilant always. Share your encounters.

Ladies, let's be honest

Ladies, let us be honest for a bit. There is no way that we are always claiming innocence after breakups. It is time we did some introspection and admitted to our contribution to the breakup. There is absolutely no way that gents are always to be blamed for our breakups. Have you ever sat back and asked yourself the following questions?: 1. How was my self-esteem during this relationship? 2. My decision making mechanism, did it resemble that of a lady that could build a home one day? 3. Financial management, did i manage my finances in a manner that expressed responsibility and maturity? 4. What did i ever do for the guy? Were there any ideas that you came up with? Or you just always waited on the guy to "entertain " you? 5. How are is your relationship with friends and family? Do you nurture relationships? Do hou go out of your way to be there for others i.e birthday parties, baby showers, funerals, weddings etc. 6. Do you look after yourself, healthwise? Do you care for your image? Do you care about the state of your house? These are some, but not limtied to, examples of questions you can ask yourself as a lady to check if you were honestly the good quality girlfirend that your ex would have appreciated yiu to be. It can sound meaningless to some but guys are often simple beings. They are not looking for their buddy, or child to look after. Instead they also look for a lady that loves herself, respects herself, cares for others, compliments their partner. Contributes positively in the building of a solid relationship. We cannot relax and expect miracles just because we are somewhat pretty to look at. The pretty face needs to be accompanied by a warm heart, cleanliness, good self esteem, sound and well thought out life decisions. As we move to new relationships or manoeuvre our way in our relationships, let us be mjndlful of our contribution. Always aim to buold and sustain. Love is the greatest gift of all. Let us nurture it 💞

How will you know when She is not that into you?

It has been years since i logged on here. i am still alive and well. Life is going on but certain things have evolved. I have come to notice that our dear darkie brothers (black guys) are still clueless when it comes to identifying signs from a girl that is into them from those who aren't. I once posted on this but i feel it i need remind a few people. It's 2020 and there is no way that I going to sit back and watch darkie brothers fooling themselves only to gain nothing in the end. So here are a few signs that one can look out for when they have been talking with a girl for some time but not much is happening: 1. If she never agrees to your dates that you have gone out of your way to plan, she probably doesn't want to be seen in public with you. This girl will often want to suggest things such as going out for drinks at loud places where no one cares who's with whom.If she agrees to your lunch/dinner date she would probably not make much effort to look good etc. 2. If she does not sleep with you (obviously this only applies after some time of dating), now don't get me wrong on this one. There are girls who have chosen abstinence, so you will need to understand first before you apply this rule. You often hear of girls that were not sleeping with their boyfriends during the 6 months of dating but somehow managed to get impregnated by another guy. it does not need to get to that stage if your eyes are open. Always remember to be respectful though whatever her choice is. 3. If a girl never asks you any personal question e.g. about your family, well-being, your interests etc. chances are she is self absorbed and does not really care about getting to know you. 4. If after you have shared your likes and dislikes and she continues to do the opposite at every opportunity, she is definitely not into. Girls like to impress just like guys. If we hear that a guy loves his toasted cheese sandwich, you will find us at a grocery store buying the most delicious cheese and the freshest bread to make you that special favorite sandwich. If you find that after some time of dating she is still not catching on what you like or dislike, that girl does not care much about you brother. 5. if she never initiates conversation with you after days of getting to know each other, she is not interested in your well being. 6. If she calls you by the following names: bhuti, abuti, bro etc. If she like you, she will even call you by your clan names or just use your name. 7. If she never cooks for you, this cooking includes even frying eggs for breakfast or even warming up leftovers. Forget it, she isn't into you. We are nurturer by nature and we wouldn't starve our men if we woke up with them. TBC

2014 Relationship lessons

2014 has been a splendid year, with its challenges and blessings, I can safely say that I am happy it happened. I have not been lucky in love yet, but have met some individuals who have contributed to my life lessons regarding heart matters. So I'd like to share a few lessons learnt in 2014 (this sounds like project closure, LOL): 1. As a lady, never be apologetic for who you are, your standards and your goals. 2. Know what you what want , always, so that you will be able to attract your hearts desire. 3. Never be afraid to communicate your intentions and what you want from the other person. 4. Be clear in your communication, call a spade a spade in the most polite manner, off course. 5. Never blame anyone (your partner) for your choices. Be responsible in your decision making. If you choose to compromise on something for your guy, don't go running and complaining about the same thing you agreed to compromise on. If you make a decision, Stick with it! 6. Trust your gut feel. listen to your instincts! If something doesn't sound or feel right, query it/investigate/talk to someone, don't just assume it will get better or disappear with time. No honey, I'm afraid you have to deal with it head on and be satisfied that you have resolved it. Trust your instincts. 7. Forgive these guys, yes I know I said it, Forgive. Some things can be forgiven, therefore choose wisely so that whatever you forgive, you can live with. 8. Love yourself, be happy with you before go bringing in another person into your life. Never make the mistake of thinking that the man you will meet will be responsible for your happiness. He is there to share in the happiness with you, so that together you can be one happy element. Lastly you must know this ( I know its been said a hundred times) but the signs are always there of whether the guy is genuine/for real or not/ if he's into you or not: 1. If he is a bad communicator, or does not make any effort to improve his bad communication skills, HE IS BAD NEWS! RUN!. I will not elaborate any further here. 2. If after you've met a guy and he's told you about how interested he is in you but then never makes time to be with you and instead gives you "I'm busy stories" he's shady, RUN. A guy who's just met you will want to use any chance to be around you, because he is interested, he wants to know you, he wants to spend time with you so he will make time. Simple. He will try by all means to be with you because he is interested. Don't be fooled. 3. Look out for bad manners , a guy with bad manners has potential of being aggressive, have anger issues and the likes. You do not need that in your life, trust me. If he says he is going to do something and doesn't get around to doing BUT still does not apologise, that IS bad manners. Everyone makes mistakes but it is those that have enough decency to acknowledge their mistakes and work towards rectifying them. 4. If he rushes to have sex on the first few dates, chances are he will not last. You just be a hit, and you must decide if that is what you want from him. Premature sex hardly ever result in long lasting relationships. Intentions and expectations need to clarified and be communicated before engaging in any sexual activities. The "thirst" has us all hostage, but if it is not just the thirst you are trying to quench, then don't be blinded by sexual acts thinking that it will turn into eternal love. The only eternal thing it will turn into is eternal thirst quenching. With all this said I still believe in love, I still have hope that there are gentleman out there who can love and be loved unconditionally. Love is all we need, but it need not be the end of our lives if we do not find it! I do love love...

Lipstick

Its Women's Day! And what a great way to spend my day then to be at home. Its a Friday,I woke up late, showered, cleaned my house and had a late breakfast. Awesome day. Im in a fantastic mood, just knowing that i am woman and our entire country is celebrating us. One of the things i strongly feel define us as women is our beautiful tool : Lipstick. Lipstick makes a woman, it contributes to her confidence and brings about a sense of contentment and hope. Hope that says everything will be ok. Satisfaction that says:I am a woman, i do not need verification. I am a woman. The beauty that is brought about by that simple smear of color is phenomenal. The colour of the softness and nurturing soul of a woman is highlighted through the aura that lipstick wearer she exudes. Theres joy about a woman with lipstick on, Have you ever seen a grumpy looking woman with lipstick on? I hardly think so. You cant help but smile when you have Lipstick on, the coloured soul jumps out and takes over. There is nothing more sexy than stopping in the middle if traffic and quickly applying a dab of color on your lips before the traffic light turns green. Its a show-stopper moment. Men drool and smile at you, that moment gives any woman an instant spring! You would have to try it to believe it. Sitting in the train waiting for it to Take off, then remembering to touch up your lipstick. That, my friend, separates woman from girls, those around you look at you with envy because that is definately an act of boldness. Girls shift uncomfortably in their seats whilst the men around shake their heads with smiles in realization and appreciation of the difference in sexes. These are the small moments that may be looked down upon but make a big difference on the bearer of the lipstick. I know all of this because i am a lipstick bearer and Wearer. On this Women's Day, dear flowers dont just shine, outshine! Get some color, get lipstick and be liberated. No matter how big your troubles are, put on some lipstick and you will feel better. Your mind will be clearer, you will reach the solution of your troubles with ease. Let us release the power that is in this dynamite tool. LIPSTICK Happy Women's day dear flowers. :♡♥♡

Is He Really Divorced?

Im writing about this as it has been on my mind for a while now. I have noticed that guys who have been married and divorced hardly ever want to talk about their past, what went wrong and what triggered the divorce and all that. well i do understand that men in general arent much talkers. be that as it may when requested, surely they should have enough respect to share their past with their new Found potential lover. All you are left with is question marks, buzzing in your head. I have met my fair share of guys who are dirvoced, and its not to say that i do not like them, but some openness would appreciated. They tend to go about their business as if all is well, or as if you actually live in their heads. Well i term this pure and utter selfishness. Heres an example: i had known this guy for a while before he got divorced. Eventually things didnt go well and they got dirvoced. All this while he was just a friend, whom i knew from work. a year later he then started declaring his love for me *totally unexpected* it came as shock, but he assured me that he had liked me since he was married, at that he couldnt do anything. With him all i knew was the wife had initiated the divorce, and that there had been a General lack of respect, 9 years later * that sounded believable, AS IF! I am certainly not that naive* in any case the divorce fell through and he was all alone. I decided to give him a chance, since i had a bit of respect for him it wasnt difficult for me to fall for his story. He wined and dined me, we had fun, then came the first weekend. I received a courtesy call from him informing me that it was his turn to be with the kids that weekend, and so he wouldnt be able to see me. Fair enough, I Believed him, since he had done the decent act of informing me. At least i would have no expectations. Weekend went by with no call, then i got pissed off on sunday and decided to call. Asking if calling me during the 'kids' weekend was that much of a mission or what. He had a wishy washy story about how the phone is not a priority with the kids around. That hurt, even though he said it as general statement that applied to everyone and not just me. Following weekend came and this time i Received no warning or anything about the anticipated weekend activies with the kids again! I learnt this as i called on a saturday morning, that it was a schools sports day for the kids. To cut the long story short it didnt work out, as this guy seemed to use the kids cards a tad too much for the initial stage the relation was in. Dont get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with him spending time with his precious beings, but Word of Advice: if you dating a single, never married , with no kids kind of lady then you should tread with a bit of more sensitivty . This is only but a fraction of the events i could write about. But such Events just leave you wondering if this man you are opening your heart to is really divorced. Going forward i think i will do myself justice and run a thorough and proper backbround check on the marital status of the acclaimed divorcee. I have a long life to live and i wouldnt want my heart being shredded into pieces by a confused dirvoced man There are good divorced men out there, but unfortunately i havent met the one that has never left me wondering if he is still married or not. Ladies tread carefully... ♥ Salute

Am I bored?

I'm watching my dvds today, so i decided to start with Think Like A Man, Act Like a Lady.....yeah i love ut. Now im watching He's Just Not that Into You.....love it too. Ive had a glass of gin and tonic (the last drops) :-( I will survive. I just cant help to think of when last was I on a proper date, with a decent guy. People just wanna come by your house. THE NERVE OF MEN OUT THERE!!! Utterly shocking. Well i dont allow for such shortcuts . I keep, well i try, my standards. Let me get back to my movie. Cheers ♥

I will Survive !

I swear my life is going to ruins. Too many things that are not right, a whole list of them. Now where do i start my list 1. My tv/decoder does not play quite a number of channels that i pay for on a monthly basis. This has been going on since FEBRUARY!!!! thats when i moved in here. I cant believe this. The last thing im left to do is to go to Multichoice with the damned decoder. So i dont see Vuzu tv, BigBrotherAfrica,BBCL , . Im sure you are asking yourself what on earth am i watching. I mean i already have half bouqet so im not left with much. 2. My oven decided to smoke up at some point when i was trying to bake my lasagna, so i havent been able to bake or roast in the past months. You know how i love cooking and baking right, well i do. 3. My washing machine refused to connect to the pipe here, so i havent been able to get the correct size pipe. Ive been driving around with it since months ago. Sigh. So i manually pour the water into the tub. Imagine all that manual work . 4. My bedroom has carpet(im not sure how i overlooked this little detail, because i suffer from bad sinuses, plus my chest is not 100%. So before i sleep i have to let out a little sneeze or cough...eish hay fever all over 5. My car is dusty! I was stopped by a metro cop the other day , he simply told me to get my car washed and let me go. Lol. Dont worry ill wash it this weekend With all this, i think i need disaster management unit to come and rescue me lol. One by one i plan to tackle these problems, i will not be defeated!!... I WILL SURVIVE Much ♥

MTN_SAMA19

Like most South Africans, tonight i am watching the MTN SAMAs from the comfort of my couch.  Theres no Minnie, Bonang or Sizwe. Im sure people are wondering how this turn out, well So far so good. Toya de lazy opened the show, i must say the technology failed her there. it wasnt as es epic as i had expecfed. i am a big fan, im sure i was the first few people that bought the album.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Desmonds and the Tutus together with Kabelo and Big Nuz was epic! Now we all know anything with Big Nuz is a winner!

Then came Zahara,wrapped up in Mrs Jones curtain! horrifying. All i thought was 'girl the days for The Sound of Music improvisation of outfuts are over. Shame to her stylist, if she has one. Khabomo on the other hand has pulled off that white suite very well for the body size that he is. Twitter is buzzing about Boity's hair, how bad it is. To be honest i see nothing wrong. 

And what is that Mabindu grouo wearing!!....shirts made of chiffon....in Red! Horror Then one of the members wets his pants, i wonder. 

well Donald is definately in love again, his Valentines inspired performance was convincing. and Newcomer of the year goes tovToya de Lazy!!!....well deserved girl. 

i think theres too many adverts in between. its after 10pm and im stilk waiting for that super Wow moment.  Kelly Khumalo looks stunning, with her all black outfit and her blonde hair. Best dressed can go to Nhlanhla Ncinza tonight. 

finally Lira drapped in Liquid Gold, Stunning! Well done Gert . She looks like an Egyptian queen. The perfirmance is phenomenal. Then kelly Khumalo performed and the camera went behind her, NUDITY,! 

well its all coming to an end now, and they are wrapping up with Dr Malingas performance, mine and the crowds favourite!! Awesome !

Ive had a geniunely great laugh, I hope next year I will be blogging from the venue itself.

Salute darlings, ♥

Hibernation Weekend ...

It's been a great week, with a holiday right in the middle (May day). the sun was shining, I rested like every working person should have been doing. It is now the weekend, well a few hours until it starts, and my phone has received those questions: What are you doing for the weekend Nokie? to be honest with you, I have zero plans. Zilch, Zero, nada !! and guess what? I am not the least bothered. Today i had to drop my car in for service, so you can imagine the amount of money i paid there. So my weekend activities shall be minimal, sadly. It will give me more  time to think about other activities I can engage in that can make me an extra income. Why not?. 

My ear is itchy, and in my culture if that happens, then someone is talking about me. lol. funny isn't it. Ok i have just received a call, my car is ready. I had asked my colleague to take me there once they call, i hope he is still around. Otherwise I'll be doomed! I always wonder what I would do if I didn't have plan B or back up plans as they call it. People are not reliable, and if you are a single lady, aich it's so hard hey. I will never forget the incident when my toilet blocked and I was not about to call a plumber, I was flat broke(though I hate to label myself like that) and so I had to think fast and make  a plan. I went to speak to one of the security guys at the complex and asked him if he would be able to assist, and he said he would try. and so I headed to the shops to try and find a Toilet Plunger!!!! yes I found it and brought it home ( I'm sure the cashier lady was wondering what I was doing with that thing). I got home, called the security guy and we went up to my place. He even came prepared with gloves shame. He sorted it out shem, I will forever be grateful to that guy, He really helped me in a very desperate situation, because I would have had to do it myself. IMAGINE!!! well yeah, the perks of being single. not nice at times. Back to my point, so at that time I could not think of a single male that could've assisted me hey, can you believe that. I told myself I would have to review my LBB (Little Black Book)....or maybe scrap it out all together, LOL.

I hope wherever you are single or not, understand the importance of having people around you, because you just never know hey.

Salute <3

Whats for dinner?

i know its a Monday dear people , but everyone has to eat something. whether you are feeling guilty from the weekend binging , or you are starting a new , new weeek, new diet ....well you have to eat.

yesterday i didnt do the whole 7 coloures sunday lunch that i often do, maybe not with all the coloures but some colour. i decided to go simple and made the macaroni and cheese. i enjoyed it, it turned out great. BUT there is no meat in that dish you know, yes i said it. i know i sound like a little scavenger ,....but ladies need protein too. So today i came home and made pork chops! yummy!....Macaroni and cheese with a pork chop on the side ♥no vegies i know, bad girl. i had three fruits at least.

So on that note let me enjoy my dinner, i hope you will be inspired to whip up a lil something and enjoy.

Much Love ♥

Encounters: What's a girl to do?

It is always interesting to meet someone new, by that someone I mean a man. I meet them alright, but ask me where they vanish off to? I don't have the slightest clue myself. I turned 30 this year, and It seems at that age men talk to you in a different manner. Recently this guy, I know from back in  2010, popped up out of nowhere. He came to where I am currently working last Friday, sat and chatted to me for a while. his subject was : I need you Nokwanda, I am tired of just dating for no purpose, I need to settle down and you are the girl for me. Wow, I was taken aback! Well not that much because I for one believe in actions rather than spoken word. so I told him that I will see by his actions how serious he was.

The weekend came, Saturday morning I received a lousy "Good Morning babe" from this "I want you in my life Nokwanda" guy!!!! I did not respond until much later with a simple Morning. and that was it! Communication for the weekend closed. the weekend ended and the week started, Monday morning I left my desk only to come back to 5 missed calls on all my phones including the work phone. Who had died!!! No one, it was this silly excuse of a guy calling me, because hey he had woken up from the weekend and oh he realized that there's a girl called Nokwanda. Mcwim.

today it's a Friday and I have not heard or been invited to any dinner date or outing by this guy. I am not surprised, guys love to throw around silly words to girls, well the thing is I am older and wiser. I will not make any contact with this guy, if he wants me he knows where and how to find me.

Guys have lost all sense of game, I mean what on earth is a girl to do? Living single is NOT a bad option, until I meet the one that will do right! Yes, do right. we cannot allow ourselves to tolerate mediocrity  it's not good for our health and self esteem, period.

Keep reading for more encounters......SALUTE

Weather Blues

Its The cold season and I am certainly NOT the biggest fan. I am summer baby, Born during the heart of summer: January. So you can imagine. My outings are now super limited, I can't stay out too late. My home will get sick of me soon. I am seriously counting the months until spring comes. 

Besides the weather being doom and gloom I have my studies coming up and I cannot wait!! it has been a while since I read a book for exam purposes, but hey I am older and wiser with more discipline than before. 

I currrently came across a blog, very well written I might add. It's about a Zulu girl that went up to Johannesburg to study, and boy did she get the Johannesburg experience!! It's unputdownable, last night i read until 1am, imagine!I hope someone can see her good work and offer to publish, only because i think it can be an eye opener to most youngsters who come up to Johannesburg for the first time. The series of events is almost unbelievable but it's all true, and it happens on a daily basis. So should it ever get published, it will definately be used as a tool or guide to : Starting a life in Johannesburg, The Do's an Don'ts . I haven't even fnished reading all the chapters but I have such recommendations for it, maybe it's because I also come from KwaZulu Natal. Lol.

On that note, let me get back to work. I will be writing soon. it's bad enough that it's taken me so long to write, but hey  a girl does get busy hey. You know ...