Beware of People who use you as their escape

Men and women come into each other's lives for many different reasons. There are those that come into your life with genuine intentions such as friendship, companionship, partnership, family etc. This post will focus on those species that come into your life pretending to be something else only to use you to fulfil their selfish wants. Ypu know that one person that you chat to almost daily but months go by without ever actually making time for each other? Yes, that particular person. I have personally come across this behaviour from particularly married men and I would like to warn my dear single ladies or single gents to look out for such characters. I know gents also have that one girl that always chats to them, pours out their life and troubles but nothing ever really materializes. Here's the deal, the people that do this may be consciously or subconsciously doing this. Some may genuinely enjoy your company ( which is often the case) but then you'll ask: what's wrong with that then? Well, this becomes wrong when you realise the following: 1. These people will speak to you at their own terms e.g. they are always the ones starting the conversation and expect you to respond with the same energy as theirs BUT should you initiate a conversationat at a time that is convenient to you, you will be met with an unanswered text for over an hour or day or so. 2. The conversation will almost always be one sided where you listen to how hectic their work is, what they want to do, their future plans, current plans (which by the way do not include you). All you can do about this is smile and be supportive. 3. They are hardly ever available for physical engagements, but they can chat to you all day without fail just dare not want anything more. 4. They will update you about all their goings on in their life, you will start to feel like you are part of their lives whereas you are not. its all a facade. They are not available, they are merely using you as their escape. Yes! this brings me to my point, an escape, that is what you become or are. An escape from their daily boring conversation with their spouse, an escape from their stressful day or life, an escape from their busy schedule that is packed with all the activities you may even be wishing for (date nights, fetching kids from school, birthday parties etc.), you become their virtual shoulder to cry on, their confidant because somehow they actually trust you with their secrets. You have created a very safe environment that makes you their first go-to person. They may throw in a charm here and there in your direction and you'll feel special. You must know that it is not real because nothing ever comes of it or nothing ever will. They will not share the nitty grittys of their relationship that they are so committed to yet feel a need to "escape" from once in a while using you dearest. There is a danger in becoming comfortable with such situations because nothing ever comes of it and nothing ever will. No one will leave their cushy life with a few bumps here and there and come join forces with your single self. Know when you are being used as an escape, Avoid being an escape toy or dustbin where married people with full lives (not to say that your single life is empty) come to dump all their troubles into. Do not become emotionally attached to such people because they are bound to leave you hurt and empty. Some are genuinely great people but great people do not use others for their personal gain. A virtual lover will not bear any fruit, remember that. The journey of a single lady continues, the lessons continue to come. Be vigilant always. Share your encounters.