Monday 31 May 2021
Somebody to Love
it's the eve of 2021 winter season and guesa what Miss? Miss Noks is as single as single can be. Bleh. Life is genuinely good, I'm in great shape (well according to my standards), work is progressing well although could be better. The family is well, thankfully to God. My nieces and nephews are growing, I am indeed truly blessed. I often feel petty when I start going off about my single status but I console myself with the knowledge that majority of people in relationships have compromised A LOT of their general standards! (i am not a hater,).
Anyway, moments of loneliness and longing for true love hit me from time to time but I'm not desperate enough to sell myself short. Men are there, oh there's plenty of them. In May aone I've been to 3 dates, yeah. One guy we clicked so much that we went on a second date the very same weekend as the first one, cute right? We even held hands, it was the sweetest. Don't ask me what's happened because the communication is there but not entirely satisfactory. i feel like im being kept in a corner close enough for reach but far enough to not be a bother. So my hands are tied, i thought i was finally getting myself a boyfriend!! My theme has been: Get lost in the sauce Noks. Well the sauce ain't coming and I'm getting a little worn down. I do worry at times about not having the best sex of my life in my 30s, i have 2 years left of it and i have to make the best of it but somehow the universe refuses!
well, it's Monday evening I am on my phone with a red candle burning by my bedside (nothing symbolic, there is no electricity in my neighborhood we are going through what they call Loadshedding) the power should be back soon. So during the time in this semi-darkness i have watched this beautifully written series Fleabag on Prime Video and listened to a soapy love song by the Bala Brothers- Somebody to Love (hence the title of this post).
I think i will be casting the message out there for people to help me find somebody to love. I have so much love in my heart but it cannot be just anybody. I love myself
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I had to comeback to this one after reading posts from earlier and ask: what is the reason for what seems to be a hostile relationship between you and relationships?
ReplyDeleteHello Koketso, i don't consider myself to have a hostile relationship with relationships (that's rather extreme). I will tell you one thing though which I've mentioned on my blogs as well, i love love however i do not chase it to a point where i find myself in a situation that i alone consider to be a relationship. Being alone doesn't hurt me, just because i write about it shouldn't be an assumption that i am in agony of any sort. I value relationships and for that i only then engage in meaningful relations. I hope you're answered.
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