How will you know when She is not that into you?

It has been years since i logged on here. i am still alive and well. Life is going on but certain things have evolved. I have come to notice that our dear darkie brothers (black guys) are still clueless when it comes to identifying signs from a girl that is into them from those who aren't. I once posted on this but i feel it i need remind a few people. It's 2020 and there is no way that I going to sit back and watch darkie brothers fooling themselves only to gain nothing in the end. So here are a few signs that one can look out for when they have been talking with a girl for some time but not much is happening: 1. If she never agrees to your dates that you have gone out of your way to plan, she probably doesn't want to be seen in public with you. This girl will often want to suggest things such as going out for drinks at loud places where no one cares who's with whom.If she agrees to your lunch/dinner date she would probably not make much effort to look good etc. 2. If she does not sleep with you (obviously this only applies after some time of dating), now don't get me wrong on this one. There are girls who have chosen abstinence, so you will need to understand first before you apply this rule. You often hear of girls that were not sleeping with their boyfriends during the 6 months of dating but somehow managed to get impregnated by another guy. it does not need to get to that stage if your eyes are open. Always remember to be respectful though whatever her choice is. 3. If a girl never asks you any personal question e.g. about your family, well-being, your interests etc. chances are she is self absorbed and does not really care about getting to know you. 4. If after you have shared your likes and dislikes and she continues to do the opposite at every opportunity, she is definitely not into. Girls like to impress just like guys. If we hear that a guy loves his toasted cheese sandwich, you will find us at a grocery store buying the most delicious cheese and the freshest bread to make you that special favorite sandwich. If you find that after some time of dating she is still not catching on what you like or dislike, that girl does not care much about you brother. 5. if she never initiates conversation with you after days of getting to know each other, she is not interested in your well being. 6. If she calls you by the following names: bhuti, abuti, bro etc. If she like you, she will even call you by your clan names or just use your name. 7. If she never cooks for you, this cooking includes even frying eggs for breakfast or even warming up leftovers. Forget it, she isn't into you. We are nurturer by nature and we wouldn't starve our men if we woke up with them. TBC

2014 Relationship lessons

2014 has been a splendid year, with its challenges and blessings, I can safely say that I am happy it happened. I have not been lucky in love yet, but have met some individuals who have contributed to my life lessons regarding heart matters. So I'd like to share a few lessons learnt in 2014 (this sounds like project closure, LOL): 1. As a lady, never be apologetic for who you are, your standards and your goals. 2. Know what you what want , always, so that you will be able to attract your hearts desire. 3. Never be afraid to communicate your intentions and what you want from the other person. 4. Be clear in your communication, call a spade a spade in the most polite manner, off course. 5. Never blame anyone (your partner) for your choices. Be responsible in your decision making. If you choose to compromise on something for your guy, don't go running and complaining about the same thing you agreed to compromise on. If you make a decision, Stick with it! 6. Trust your gut feel. listen to your instincts! If something doesn't sound or feel right, query it/investigate/talk to someone, don't just assume it will get better or disappear with time. No honey, I'm afraid you have to deal with it head on and be satisfied that you have resolved it. Trust your instincts. 7. Forgive these guys, yes I know I said it, Forgive. Some things can be forgiven, therefore choose wisely so that whatever you forgive, you can live with. 8. Love yourself, be happy with you before go bringing in another person into your life. Never make the mistake of thinking that the man you will meet will be responsible for your happiness. He is there to share in the happiness with you, so that together you can be one happy element. Lastly you must know this ( I know its been said a hundred times) but the signs are always there of whether the guy is genuine/for real or not/ if he's into you or not: 1. If he is a bad communicator, or does not make any effort to improve his bad communication skills, HE IS BAD NEWS! RUN!. I will not elaborate any further here. 2. If after you've met a guy and he's told you about how interested he is in you but then never makes time to be with you and instead gives you "I'm busy stories" he's shady, RUN. A guy who's just met you will want to use any chance to be around you, because he is interested, he wants to know you, he wants to spend time with you so he will make time. Simple. He will try by all means to be with you because he is interested. Don't be fooled. 3. Look out for bad manners , a guy with bad manners has potential of being aggressive, have anger issues and the likes. You do not need that in your life, trust me. If he says he is going to do something and doesn't get around to doing BUT still does not apologise, that IS bad manners. Everyone makes mistakes but it is those that have enough decency to acknowledge their mistakes and work towards rectifying them. 4. If he rushes to have sex on the first few dates, chances are he will not last. You just be a hit, and you must decide if that is what you want from him. Premature sex hardly ever result in long lasting relationships. Intentions and expectations need to clarified and be communicated before engaging in any sexual activities. The "thirst" has us all hostage, but if it is not just the thirst you are trying to quench, then don't be blinded by sexual acts thinking that it will turn into eternal love. The only eternal thing it will turn into is eternal thirst quenching. With all this said I still believe in love, I still have hope that there are gentleman out there who can love and be loved unconditionally. Love is all we need, but it need not be the end of our lives if we do not find it! I do love love...

Lipstick

Its Women's Day! And what a great way to spend my day then to be at home. Its a Friday,I woke up late, showered, cleaned my house and had a late breakfast. Awesome day. Im in a fantastic mood, just knowing that i am woman and our entire country is celebrating us. One of the things i strongly feel define us as women is our beautiful tool : Lipstick. Lipstick makes a woman, it contributes to her confidence and brings about a sense of contentment and hope. Hope that says everything will be ok. Satisfaction that says:I am a woman, i do not need verification. I am a woman. The beauty that is brought about by that simple smear of color is phenomenal. The colour of the softness and nurturing soul of a woman is highlighted through the aura that lipstick wearer she exudes. Theres joy about a woman with lipstick on, Have you ever seen a grumpy looking woman with lipstick on? I hardly think so. You cant help but smile when you have Lipstick on, the coloured soul jumps out and takes over. There is nothing more sexy than stopping in the middle if traffic and quickly applying a dab of color on your lips before the traffic light turns green. Its a show-stopper moment. Men drool and smile at you, that moment gives any woman an instant spring! You would have to try it to believe it. Sitting in the train waiting for it to Take off, then remembering to touch up your lipstick. That, my friend, separates woman from girls, those around you look at you with envy because that is definately an act of boldness. Girls shift uncomfortably in their seats whilst the men around shake their heads with smiles in realization and appreciation of the difference in sexes. These are the small moments that may be looked down upon but make a big difference on the bearer of the lipstick. I know all of this because i am a lipstick bearer and Wearer. On this Women's Day, dear flowers dont just shine, outshine! Get some color, get lipstick and be liberated. No matter how big your troubles are, put on some lipstick and you will feel better. Your mind will be clearer, you will reach the solution of your troubles with ease. Let us release the power that is in this dynamite tool. LIPSTICK Happy Women's day dear flowers. :♡♥♡

Is He Really Divorced?

Im writing about this as it has been on my mind for a while now. I have noticed that guys who have been married and divorced hardly ever want to talk about their past, what went wrong and what triggered the divorce and all that. well i do understand that men in general arent much talkers. be that as it may when requested, surely they should have enough respect to share their past with their new Found potential lover. All you are left with is question marks, buzzing in your head. I have met my fair share of guys who are dirvoced, and its not to say that i do not like them, but some openness would appreciated. They tend to go about their business as if all is well, or as if you actually live in their heads. Well i term this pure and utter selfishness. Heres an example: i had known this guy for a while before he got divorced. Eventually things didnt go well and they got dirvoced. All this while he was just a friend, whom i knew from work. a year later he then started declaring his love for me *totally unexpected* it came as shock, but he assured me that he had liked me since he was married, at that he couldnt do anything. With him all i knew was the wife had initiated the divorce, and that there had been a General lack of respect, 9 years later * that sounded believable, AS IF! I am certainly not that naive* in any case the divorce fell through and he was all alone. I decided to give him a chance, since i had a bit of respect for him it wasnt difficult for me to fall for his story. He wined and dined me, we had fun, then came the first weekend. I received a courtesy call from him informing me that it was his turn to be with the kids that weekend, and so he wouldnt be able to see me. Fair enough, I Believed him, since he had done the decent act of informing me. At least i would have no expectations. Weekend went by with no call, then i got pissed off on sunday and decided to call. Asking if calling me during the 'kids' weekend was that much of a mission or what. He had a wishy washy story about how the phone is not a priority with the kids around. That hurt, even though he said it as general statement that applied to everyone and not just me. Following weekend came and this time i Received no warning or anything about the anticipated weekend activies with the kids again! I learnt this as i called on a saturday morning, that it was a schools sports day for the kids. To cut the long story short it didnt work out, as this guy seemed to use the kids cards a tad too much for the initial stage the relation was in. Dont get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with him spending time with his precious beings, but Word of Advice: if you dating a single, never married , with no kids kind of lady then you should tread with a bit of more sensitivty . This is only but a fraction of the events i could write about. But such Events just leave you wondering if this man you are opening your heart to is really divorced. Going forward i think i will do myself justice and run a thorough and proper backbround check on the marital status of the acclaimed divorcee. I have a long life to live and i wouldnt want my heart being shredded into pieces by a confused dirvoced man There are good divorced men out there, but unfortunately i havent met the one that has never left me wondering if he is still married or not. Ladies tread carefully... ♥ Salute

Am I bored?

I'm watching my dvds today, so i decided to start with Think Like A Man, Act Like a Lady.....yeah i love ut. Now im watching He's Just Not that Into You.....love it too. Ive had a glass of gin and tonic (the last drops) :-( I will survive. I just cant help to think of when last was I on a proper date, with a decent guy. People just wanna come by your house. THE NERVE OF MEN OUT THERE!!! Utterly shocking. Well i dont allow for such shortcuts . I keep, well i try, my standards. Let me get back to my movie. Cheers ♥

I will Survive !

I swear my life is going to ruins. Too many things that are not right, a whole list of them. Now where do i start my list 1. My tv/decoder does not play quite a number of channels that i pay for on a monthly basis. This has been going on since FEBRUARY!!!! thats when i moved in here. I cant believe this. The last thing im left to do is to go to Multichoice with the damned decoder. So i dont see Vuzu tv, BigBrotherAfrica,BBCL , . Im sure you are asking yourself what on earth am i watching. I mean i already have half bouqet so im not left with much. 2. My oven decided to smoke up at some point when i was trying to bake my lasagna, so i havent been able to bake or roast in the past months. You know how i love cooking and baking right, well i do. 3. My washing machine refused to connect to the pipe here, so i havent been able to get the correct size pipe. Ive been driving around with it since months ago. Sigh. So i manually pour the water into the tub. Imagine all that manual work . 4. My bedroom has carpet(im not sure how i overlooked this little detail, because i suffer from bad sinuses, plus my chest is not 100%. So before i sleep i have to let out a little sneeze or cough...eish hay fever all over 5. My car is dusty! I was stopped by a metro cop the other day , he simply told me to get my car washed and let me go. Lol. Dont worry ill wash it this weekend With all this, i think i need disaster management unit to come and rescue me lol. One by one i plan to tackle these problems, i will not be defeated!!... I WILL SURVIVE Much ♥

MTN_SAMA19

Like most South Africans, tonight i am watching the MTN SAMAs from the comfort of my couch.  Theres no Minnie, Bonang or Sizwe. Im sure people are wondering how this turn out, well So far so good. Toya de lazy opened the show, i must say the technology failed her there. it wasnt as es epic as i had expecfed. i am a big fan, im sure i was the first few people that bought the album.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Desmonds and the Tutus together with Kabelo and Big Nuz was epic! Now we all know anything with Big Nuz is a winner!

Then came Zahara,wrapped up in Mrs Jones curtain! horrifying. All i thought was 'girl the days for The Sound of Music improvisation of outfuts are over. Shame to her stylist, if she has one. Khabomo on the other hand has pulled off that white suite very well for the body size that he is. Twitter is buzzing about Boity's hair, how bad it is. To be honest i see nothing wrong. 

And what is that Mabindu grouo wearing!!....shirts made of chiffon....in Red! Horror Then one of the members wets his pants, i wonder. 

well Donald is definately in love again, his Valentines inspired performance was convincing. and Newcomer of the year goes tovToya de Lazy!!!....well deserved girl. 

i think theres too many adverts in between. its after 10pm and im stilk waiting for that super Wow moment.  Kelly Khumalo looks stunning, with her all black outfit and her blonde hair. Best dressed can go to Nhlanhla Ncinza tonight. 

finally Lira drapped in Liquid Gold, Stunning! Well done Gert . She looks like an Egyptian queen. The perfirmance is phenomenal. Then kelly Khumalo performed and the camera went behind her, NUDITY,! 

well its all coming to an end now, and they are wrapping up with Dr Malingas performance, mine and the crowds favourite!! Awesome !

Ive had a geniunely great laugh, I hope next year I will be blogging from the venue itself.

Salute darlings, ♥