Still holding on....

Good evening, its been a minute! Well, im alive and well but lately overwhelmed with feelings of how vanilla my life is. i feel like I'm a spectator of people's lives, just always having to pick up my jaw from the floor, because wow! people are wild out there. Firstly, let me rectract the so called crush i thought i had on that yellow bone cutie on the TL. nope, it was just a silly crush, boy am i glad nothing caught on. Secondly, i have decided to basically date them all (and sleep with none of them, i know how y'all can't differentiate these things). if you find yourself talking to more than one guy at once rather talk to them all. they are not consistent and somehow the serious one will then remain if they are serious all the flacky bs will vanish. anyway, i still have no lover 😥. work is hectic but still manageable. I've been exercising quite consistently since the start of August. my body is firm, that's all...no weightloss *sigh* anyway, i have no ailments so im grateful. i thought getting off patch would shed off some weight brought on by it. eish, being a black women can be so hard. year 40 is going on and almost over yet I'm wasting away (read:lack of coitus) what kind of life is this?? something has to change 🤔 i joined that boardroom dating apps and my agemates are nowhere to be found!! i matched with one, we haven't met as yet. he's from Gqebehra and you know what they say about guys from there, so ill be cautious. i once had a date with one of the boys from and he asked that we split a very menial bill😳. i was shocked! i wanted to settle it in full to spite him but i then decided against it. in fact, I'll tell this one why im sceptical just as a warning so he won't try that nonsense with me. the December shutdown is upon us and i need a beach holiday. ⛱️ its been a year and a half, sexless and all. im literally a walking hormone, thank goodness im a lady and have the ability to practice restraint. I'd sleeping with anything if i were a guy🤣 those ones lack restraint. anything goes with them. i haven't decided what will be on this year's Christmas lunch menu, i had hoped to spend it at a different household like my in laws or something like that *sigh*. i also haven't decided what hairstyle to do for December, ey man, December is an event for us South Africans 😂 the outfits are planned in advance, a budget is set aside etc. its a lot that goes on. the planning will start soon. With all that said, i remain grateful for my vanilla life as i continue to look for ways to make it more colourful. i need colour, i must have colour lest i die! 🥺 now wouldn't that be a shame! 1 need to start saving for my vacation in Mauritius 🇲🇺 where I'll be shaking my booty, in a thong, in a yatch! hahaha Let's see what this weekend holds, i need serious rest but also an outing of sorts. staying indoors and within my comfort zones will get me no colour! Adios 💖